Darth Vader Playing Golf

Killer Elite

Oh my.

Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_Elite_(film)

New to Me: Musical Instruments, Features & Terms

1.  Mallet percussion
2.  Wah-wah pedal
3.  Fender Rhodes

Yeah, I may have heard the effect or seen the instrument, but I did not know what it was called or that it was called that.

Stuff Steph Gives Me (August 28, 2011) [Facebook CIA]

Not-So-Pure Genuis

I love iTunes and my iTouch, but I am not a fan of the Genius function on iTunes.  It never really knows what to recommend to me.

Example:

This is "99 Problems" by Hugo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jeyGl2fdfA

(I'd post the actual video, but Blogger, as I've mentioned, is weirdly inconsistent with Youtube.)

I don't want the recommendations Genius gave me (see pic above).  I want uptempo sexy retro alt bluesy country rock, something with clapping hands, stomping, a banjo, guitar and an undercurrent of bourbon and sin, stuff like...

"Hell's Kitchen" by Matt King
"Ain't No Easy Way" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Shuffle Your Feet" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Barton Hollow" by Barton Hollow
"Ten Million Slaves' by Otis Taylor
"Seven or Eight Days" by Adrian Glynn
"Go It Alone" by Beck
"Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall


I've been told I would have better luck on Pandora.  I admit, it is better.

Stuff Orfeu Gives Me...or "The Gervais Principle" (August 26, 2011)

The Gervais Principle, Or The Office According to “The Office”

Links:
http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-or-the-office-according-to-the-office/
http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2008/11/18/the-organization-man-by-william-whyte-introduction/
http://gapingvoid.com/2004/06/27/company-hierarchy/
http://www.amazon.com/Organization-Man-William-H-Whyte/dp/0812218191/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314387186&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Images-Organization-Gareth-Morgan/dp/1412939798/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314387210&sr=1-1

No Reservation Soundtrack (Bourdain - Homme)

Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age recently did the soundtrack for the "U.S. Desert" episode of No Reservations.  I want it.  Must...have...more.

Also, this is funny.  Yes.  I have that kind of sense of humor.

"I like your Daddy so much, that when an obnoxious superfan of mine at a magical place called Pappy and Harriet’s got up in Daddy’s face–had your Daddy not gently guided him by the thorax to the welcoming arms of security–I would have broken my beer glass across the man’s skull and then jabbed the jagged remnants into his ****ing neck. That’s the kind of guy I am. I had your Daddy’s back–just like he had mine. You will learn about these things later–possibly in grammar school."

Links:
http://www.explodinginsound.com/2011/08/josh-homme-featured-on-travel-channels.html
http://rockitoutblog.com/2011/08/08/watch-b-roll-footage-of-no-reservations-featuring-music-from-josh-homme/
http://blog.travelchannel.com/anthony-bourdain/read/havana-club%E2%80%A6and-lonely-t-bird/
http://anthonybourdain.tumblr.com/post/8578665891/desert-session-a-letter-to-josh-hommes-daughter
http://blog.travelchannel.com/anthony-bourdain/read/desert-session-a-letter-to-josh-hommes-daughter/
http://www.qotsa.com/news/default.aspx?nid=36183

Loyal Pets

This kind of story is always a gut-punch for bleeding-pet-heart people like Stephie and me.  Please pardon the mixed metaphor.

Dog mourns at casket of fallen Navy SEAL

"Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson lay in a coffin, draped in an American flag, in front of a tearful audience mourning his death in Afghanistan. Soon an old friend appeared, and like a fellow soldier on a battlefield, his loyal dog refused to leave him behind."

Bless his little canine heart.

Cat Grenades

Maryanne posted this on gV.  I love the pic, but I particularly like the Olympic-10-score worthy form of the cat.

Links:
http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/re-fester.2456/page-4#post-111420
http://s602.photobucket.com/albums/tt104/MissLee_photos/Catnip%20for%20Forums/

Webby Awards (15th Annual)

A chocolate keyboard to go with all that spewage.  (Do I need to explain that one?)

And the Muppets.  Although once again you'll have to click the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiMZa8flyYY&ob=av2n

Anyone know why that happens on Blogger?

And Roger Ebert.  I love Roger Ebert.

Say no to Pixel Fashion.  I'm not even gonna post a pic.  It hurts.




Links:
http://tumblr.webbyawards.com/
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2011/08/i_was_born_inside_the_movie_of.html
http://www.thecreatorsproject.com/blog/living-in-a-world-of-pixels

Speaking of Ridiculist...

Let's revisit this.  Again.  Ya know, to celebrate the upcoming reality show and current proliferation of forum threads.

See here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj0eHtwowlk

I'd put it up as a video, but Blogger's video insert feature has proven consistently inconsistent for me.

Aha!  Maybe this one will work.

She looks like she's been studying Ann-Margret for an impression act.

Here's a Stodden PSA.

Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doug_Hutchison
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/23/doug-hutchison-and-courtney-stodden_n_934183.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/16/courtney-stodden-pamerla-anderson_n_927961.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ann-Margret

Bollywood Robots

No really.

Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enthiran

Ginga Dos and Don'ts

I'm not entirely sure what's going on here, but the one in the middle cuts quite an impressive figure.

This one, a little less so.

Links:  

http://www.rangercrew.com/forum/showthread.php?18481-The-Power-Rangers-High-S.E.A

http://www.grnrngr.com/monsters/pictures/ginga04.jpg

http://www.grnrngr.com/monsters/mc-ginga.htm

Rumblewick

Links:
http://scifimafia.com/2011/03/dreamworks-animation-to-bring-rumblewick-to-the-big-screen/

Stuff Steph Gives Me (August 19, 2011) [Where's WALL-E?]

I love this.

Look!  Maximilian!  V.I.N. CENT!  R2D2!  C3PO!  Da Terminator!

Where's WALL-E?





Hopewell Studios says:

"'Where's WALL-E?' art from Geekings Cards

A new piece of artwork by Richard Sargent, featuring a huge crowd of robots from movies, television and more. Can you find WALL-E among them?"

"Win a signed poster print of Richard's 'Where's WALL-E?' art! How many robots can you identify? Use the guide picture to name as many as you can. The most correct robots will win a poster. Answers to richard@hopewellstudios.com. Closing date for entries 31st August 2011."

Fun stuff on that site.  I also like the Columbo and Jaws cards.

Links:
http://www.hopewellstudios.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=19&Itemid=35
http://www.hopewellstudios.com/images/stories/geekings/whereswalle1450.jpg
http://www.hopewellstudios.com/images/stories/geekings/wall-enumbers1450.jpg

ETA:





ETA:



1.   Laputa Robot                                                                                                    91.  XR
2.  The Robot (B9 from "Lost In Space"                                                             92.  Steve from "Bolts & Blip"
3.   Larry 3000 from "Time Squad"                                                                       93.  Robot from "The Goodies"
4.  Maximilian from "The Black Hole"                                                                 94.  Dalek from "Dr. Who"
5.   John the Robot                                                                                                 95.  Smash potato Martian robot
6.  Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still"                                                    96.  Alpha 5 
7.  Chani from "Devil Girl from Mars"                                                                 97.  Robot Jones
8.  Robot Monster                                                                                                  98.  Robot Chicken’s Humping Robot
9.  robot from Venus from the movie "Target Earth"                                        99.  skiing oven from "Grand Day Out"
10.   Hector from "Saturn 3"                                                                                 100.  Kevin from "Saved By the Bell"
11.  Robot Torg from "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"                         101.  Jenny from My Life as a Teenage Robot
12.   The robot from "The Vanishing Shadow"                                                102.  790 from LEXX
13.  Carl the robot from "Meet The Robinsons"                                              103.  Analyzer (IQ9) from "Star Blazers"
14.   ED-209                                                                                                            104.  Blinky
15.   Mark 1 from "Mother Riley Meets the Vampire"                                    105.  Robot from "Rocky IV"
16.   robot from "Zombies of the Stratosphere."                                              106.  Marvin the Paranoid Android
17.  1998 "Lost in Space" movie robot                                                               107.  AMEE from "Red Planet"
18.  The Terminator                                                                                               108.  Evolver
19.   # 5                                                                                                                    109.  Mr. Robot from the "Mr. Robot" video game
20.   alien invader robot from "The Earth Dies Screaming"                            110.  Jinx from "Space Camp"
21.  an enforcer police android robot from "THX 1138"                                 111.  Green Cross Code Robot
22.  PPA from "Starfleet"                                                                                     112.  CHUM from "The Simpsons"
23.  Elle from "Starcrash"                                                                                    113.  Classic Cylon
24.   Weebo from "Flubber"                                                                                114.  Robot Moron from "Robo Story"
25.   A.P.E.X                                                                                                           115.  Tik-Tok from "Return to Oz."
26.  Brian the Brain from "Space:  1999"                                                            116.   Google Android
27.  Tobor from "Tobor the Great"                                                                     117.  Dick Spanner, PI
28.   Wind-up Robot from "Zathura"                                                                 118.  "fix-its" in "*batteries not included"
29.   a tachikoma from Ghost in the Shell                                                           119.  Marvin the Paranoid Android 
30.  Dot Matrix (Joan Rivers) from "Spaceballs"                                             120.  Rosie from "The Jetsons"
31.  Wheelie from "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"                            121.  Robot from "Heavy Metal"
32.   Wheelie from "Transformers" animated-series                                       122.  Blinky from "Bucky O'Hare"
33.   Jet Jaguar                                                                                                       123.  MAMMA from "The Muppet Show"
34.   Scooter from "Gobots"                                                                                124.  B.E.N. from "Treasure Planet"
35.  Bill & Ted robots from "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey."                       125.  MO from "Space Sentinels"
36.  Bill & Ted robots from "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey."                       126.  Jeremy from "Rentaghost"
37.  Crichton from "Buck Rogers"                                                                     127.  Robotboy
38.  Kryten, also from Red Dwarf                                                                       128.  K-9
39.  Mizzo, robot from "Starchaser:  the Legend of Orin"                               129.  WALL*E
40.  Box from "Logan's Run"                                                                               130.  Serge from "Caprica"
41.  Andy from "Quark"                                                                                       131.  S.P.O.T from "Eliminators"
42.  Robby the Robot from "Forbidden Planet"                                              132.  GIR from "Invader Zim"
43.  ABC Robot from "Judge Dredd"                                                                133.  Preston from "A Close Shave"
44.  QT1 from "The Prophet"                                                                             134.  Newman
45.  battle droid from "Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace"       135.  Nono from "Ulysses 31"
46.  Woody Allen "Sleeper" butler robot                                                         136.  Noo-noo from "Teletubbies"
47.  Maria/Futura robot from "Metropolis"                                                     137.   BB from "Deadly Friend"
48.   C3P0 from "Star Wars"                                                                               138.  Conky from "Pee-wee's Playhouse"
49.   Metal Mickey                                                                                               139.  Sam from "Sesame Street"
50.  Rodney Copperbottom from "Robots"                                                     140.  Muffit II from "Battlestar Galactica"
51.  Infiltration Unit Zeta from "The Zeta Project"                                         141.  Quark from "Dr. Who"
52.  Mr. Thundercleese from "The Brak Show."                                             142.  M.I.C. from "Telebugs"
53.   Plex from "Yo Gabba Gabba!"                                                                    143.  S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A. from "Telebugs"
54.   Sherman from "Millennium"                                                                       144.  Killbot from "Chopping Mall"
55.  Gog                                                                                                                  145.  The Iron Chicken from "The Clangers"
56.  Sparks from "The Shape of Things to Come."                                         146.  Evil Edna from "Willo the Wisp"
57.  new Cylon                                                                                                      147.  V.I.N.CENT from "The Black Hole"
58.  Junky Mecha from "AI"                                                                              148.  Bad Robot
59.  Big Guy (BGY-11)                                                                                         149.  K-9
60.  Cyberman                                                                                                       150.  Henry the Vacuum Desktop Cleaner
61.   Cyberman                                                                                                      151.  Zark from "Battle of the Planets"
62.   patrol robot from "Blake's 7"                                                                      152.  H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot from 'Fantastic Four"
63.  Mr. Butlertron from "Clone High"                                                              153.  Robotman
64.  Sentinel from "The Matrix"                                                                          154.  Sergeant Bash from "Robot Wars"
65.  Hover Robot Knight                                                                                     155.   Tom Servo of MST3K  
66.  Zero from "Earth 2"                                                                                       156.  Twiki
67.  Slomo from "Space Precinct"                                                                      157.  Dr. Theopolis
68.  M.A.R.K.-13 from "Hardware"                                                                    158.  Cube Robot from "Terrahawks"
69.  Robot X-5 from "Atomic Betty"                                                                 159.   Phil from "Heartbeeps."
70.  Calculon from Futurama                                                                              160.  MSE-6-series repair droid
71.  Peace from "Wizards"                                                                                  161.  Scout in a Can from "Spaced Invaders"
72.  Blitz from "C.O.P.S."                                                                                     162.  Tiny from "Little Robots"
73.  Adam Link  ('64)                                                                                            163.  Clank from Ratchet and Clank
74.  Adam Link ('95)                                                                                             164.  Roam 2 from "Space Island One"
75.  Sonny from "I, Robot"                                                                                165.  R2D2 from "Star Wars"
76.  "Bicentennial Man."                                                                                    166.  Ludwig
77.  Bender from "Futurama"                                                                             167.  Sergeant Major Zero of "Terrahawks"
78.  EVE from "WALL-E"                                                                                   168.  T-Bob from M.A.S.K.
79.  The Tin Man from "Wizard of Oz"                                                            169.   Huey, robot from "Silent Running"
80.   Nomad from "Star Trek"                                                                            170.   Dewy, robot from "Silent Running"
81.   Droid from "Star Command"                                                                     171.  Louie, robot from "Silent Running"
82.   Robot Pilot from "Space Patrol"                                                               172.  Skutter from Red Dwarf
83.  Robert the Robot from "Fireball XL5"                                                      173.  Zax from "Benji, Zax & the Alien Prince"
84.  Atlas from Portal                                                                                          174.  Robot Jerry
85.  SID from "Galloping Galaxies"                                                                  175.  Robot Tom
86.  Kamelion from "Dr. Who"                                                                         176.  Goddard from Jimmy Neutron
87.   Bubo, "Clash of the Titans"                                                                     177.  Push Trashcan the Dog
88.  Octus from "Sym-Bionic Titan"                                                                178.  DRD from Farscape
89.  Grounder from "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"                          179.  Rover from "Planet 51"
90.  Haro                                                                                                                180.  M-O from Wall-E        




ETA:


      

ETA:
http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/08/19/wheres-wall-e-huge-robot-print-art/
http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/zomgwtfbbqgtfololcats/63461-how-many-robots-can-you-2.html
http://www.geeky-gadgets.com/enormous-robot-graphic-puzzle-hides-wall-e-23-08-2011/
http://www.forevergeek.com/2011/08/wheres-wall-e/
http://www.ausgamers.com/forums/general/thread.php/3101270
http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/jn65k/wheres_walle/
http://www.fugworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15209
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?p=83183968


ETA:

Depardieu Pees and Cooper Loses It

Links:
http://www.longislandpress.com/2011/08/18/anderson-cooper-cant-stop-laughing-in-depardieu-segment/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrwf9gSLcNM

Stuff Steph Gives Me (August 17, 2011) [Shut up, damn it!]

Stuff Steph Gives Me (August 16, 2011) [Secret Skype Smilies!]

Secret Skype Smilies!

http://www.skype-emoticons.com/

(Orfeu's already bookmarked 'em.)

Stephie and I didn't know what Toivo was so I looked it up.  Natch.

"Some explanations:
(toivo) = Toivo Annus is the name of a former Skype Staff member. He was head of engineering. His "signature" on the Skype Forum was "Dog ate my headset"!"

http://skypenumerology.blogspot.com/2007/05/squirrel.html
http://www.toivo.ee/

Photography With Humor

http://www.smashingapps.com/2009/04/08/21-fantastic-examples-of-brilliant-photography-with-humor.html

Reminds me of Stephie.

Only with less blood and mayhem.



Links:
https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Terror-Bunny/2212977

I'm taking notes for Batman.

No really.

Strike Back (Cinemax)

Series premiere Friday, August 12 on Cinemax.  Yum.

Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strike_Back_(TV_series)
http://www.cinemax.com/strike-back/

The Sketch Show

Stephie gave me a bunch of links to "The Sketch Show."  Good stuff.

Links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sketch_Show

Literally Unbelievable

"Literally Unbelievable

You think your beliefs are true. As such, you’re willing to believe outrageous things if they back up your viewpoint.

Case in point: “Literally Unbelievable“. This is a blog that, using real Facebook reactions to Onion articles, points out just how insane we perceive those who think differently than us.

The Onion, in case you didn’t know, is a satirical newspaper; everything printed in it is a fabrication. The intention of many Onion articles is to point out that we all hold exaggerated versions of reality. Some people don’t get that part of the joke."

Links:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/4-hilarious-blogs-learn/
http://literallyunbelievable.org/
http://www.theonion.com/

Sci-Ha

Inspired by Storm, I went surfing and found this:

"1. If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.


2. If you were a concentration gradient I'd go down on you.


3. If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.


4. Baby you must be 1/cosxy, because you're secxy.


5. Baby you must be a carbon containing sample, because I want to date you.


6. Baby, you and I are like negative (e to the (pi * i))


7. Girl, you must be low density lipoprotein cholesterol, because you just stopped my heart.


8. Baby I wish I were your integral so I could fill the area under your curves.


9. Girl whenever I'm near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away!


10. What did the geologist’s wife tell him after they had a quarrel? Do not take me for granite.


11. Baby, would there be any resistance if I tried to take you ohm?


12. Girl, you must be a particle physicist, because you're giving me a Hadron.


13. Can I have your significant digits?


14. Baby, I wanna bind to your active site.


15. I wish I were your problem set, because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on a desk.


16. I want to work on your leucine zipper with my zinc fingers.


17. Baby, you must be gibberelin, because I'm experiencing some stem elongation.


18. I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.


19. I'm not being obtuse, but you're acute girl.


20. If I could make any compound, I would make uranium iodide, so I could put U and I together.


21. Hey baby, what's your sine?


22. If I were sine squared and you were cosine squared together we'd be one.


23. What does it take to get over your activation barrier?


24. I feel a BOND between us!


25. Girl, we fit together like sticky ends.


26. You must be in the middle of cytokinesis because you have some fantastic cleavage.


27. I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?


28. What's your inverse sine? It must be π/2, because you're the one.


29. My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you!


30. I want you like 1/x, as x approaches zero... positively.


31. If I were an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?


32. What does a molecular biologist and a fashion model have in common? They both work with designer "genes".


33. What did the little mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra.


34. What do you call a one-sided nudie bar? A Möbius strip club.


35. What is the difference between a PhD in the sciences and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.


36. What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? Möbius Dick.


37. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!


38. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. ~ Henry J. Tillman


39. What does a statistician call it when the heads of 10 rats are cut off and 1 survives? Nonsignificant.


40. If Evolution Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Evolve. ~ Jello Biafra


41. Chemistry is killing me: anytime I do a Diels-Alder reaction, I think I'm diene.


42. What is the difference between a Quantum Theorist and a Beauty Therapist? The Quantum Theorist uses Planck's Constant as a foundation and the Beauty Therapist uses Max Factor.


43. A Bayesian is one who, vaguely expecting a horse, and catching a glimpse of a donkey, strongly believes he has seen a mule.


44. Did you hear about the statistician who had his head in an oven and his feet in a bucket of ice? When asked how he felt, he replied, "On the average I feel just fine."


45. What happened to the molecular biologist who swallowed a beaker full of restriction endonucleases? He came to a sticky end.


46. What does a molecular biologist and a porn star have in common? They both get paid to remove their genes (jeans).


47. The Higgs Boson walks into a church, the head priest said "we don't allow elementary particles of any kind here", the Higgs Boson replied "But without me, how could you have mass?"


48. Did you hear about: the four statisticians who were caught in a boating shop tossing packages of canvas around? It turned out they were just fore-casting sales. the statistician who went out on a limb to obtain a nested design? the statistician who attempted the distribution of joints but was arrested by the vice squad?the statistician who was looking all over for the sum of eigenvalues from a variance- covariance matrix but couldn't find a trace? the non-parametrician who couldn't get his driving license? He couldn't pass the sign test. the two binomial random variables who talked very quietly because they were discrete?the ancient roman statistician who was always called a nerd? Turns out he was just a Latin Square. The father and son station wagon? Talk about a case of auto-correlation! the nine-foot tall roman numeral who took over Congress and outlawed decimals? It was just a case of the strong law of large numbers.


49. A Physicist, a Biologist, and a Statistician see two people enter a house, and then after some time, they see three people leave the house. The Physicist concludes, "My initial observation must have been incorrect." The Biologist concludes, "Clearly, the two reproduced." The Statistician concludes, "Well, if one more... person enters the house, then there will be no-one in the house!"


50. A neutron walked into a bar and asked the bartender how much for a drink.
The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."




51. Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers by Werner Heisenberg: 1We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast. 2It was uncertain if it could make it, but wanted to try on general principles. 3Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe the chicken or you can measure the chicken, but you cannot do both. 4We could tell... you how it crossed the road, but we couldn't tell you where.


52. Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, "I think not." And he vanished. Heisenberg was also sitting at the bar. After Descartes vanished in a puff of smoke, the bartender walked over to him and asked, "Did you see that?" To which Heisenberg replied, "I can't be certain." The bartender then noticed Einstein was there. So he asked him if he could believe what had happened. Einstein replied, "It's all relative." Then the bartender noticed that Carl Sagan was there. He walked over to him and asked, "Can you believe that all these famous people are here in THIS bar?" Sagan replied, "No. Why there must be BILLIONS and BILLIONS of bars out there."


53. So, here is a crude and juvenile calculator classic. Get out your calculator and follow these steps: There is one girl (type in 1) she's sixteen (type in 16) she gets screwed 69 times (type in 69 followed by the times sign) in three days (type in 3). What does that make her? Your screen should look like this: 11669*3 now press ENTER. Turn your calculator upside down to get the answer. I told you...crude and juvenile.


54. How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her!


55. Experimental animals, under carefully
controlled laboratory conditions, do what they damned well please. - Harvard Law of Animal Behavior


56. Girl, you know my ρ = 1-sinθ belongs to you!


57. A room temperature super conductor walks into a bar, the bartender says "we don't serve room temperature super conductors in this bar" the room temperature super conductor leaves without putting up any resistance


58. Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.'


59. Taenia solium walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we don't serve your kind here" Taenia solium replies "Well, you're not a very good host."


60. A virus walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we don't serve your kind here." The virus replaces the bartender and says "now we do."


61. Two bacteria walk into a bar and the bar tender says "we don't serve your kind here" The two bacteria say "But we work here....were staph!"


62. Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar...and doesn't.


63. Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he was a fungi!


64. A neutrino walks into a bar and the bartender says "we dont serve your kind here" The neutrino says "Well, I was just passing through...."


65. An infrared photon walks into a bar and says "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"


66. Why didn't the math student get a new car?
Because he couldn't find anybody to cosine.


67. Weights and Measures
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1000 aches = 1 kilohurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line.
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds = Two kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League


68. Baby, I wish I were your second derivative so that I could investigate your concavities.


69. ∫e^x = f(u)^n


70. Hey baby, why don't we go back to my place for a little horizontal gene transfer?


71. Baby, why don't we get comfortable so you can integrate my natural log.


72. What's the integral of 1/cabin? Log cabin of course.


73. What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.


74. Hey baby, If you were a gene I would be Ethidium Bromide so we could go back to my place and intercalate.


75. What did the stamen say to the pistil? Girl, I like your style.


76. What do claustrophobic cells fear? Tight junctions.


77. Hey, what’s new (ν)? c/λ of course."

Links:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/If-I-were-an-enzyme-I-would-be-DNA-helicase-so-I-could-unzip-your-genes/293128768855?v=info
http://egyptiannerdpopcorn.blogspot.com/2011/04/nerd-jokes.html
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/55-geeky-line-jokes/
http://slconfidential.blogspot.com/2011/08/troll-of-week.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/08/confessions-and-apologies-of-serial-sl.html