Tuesday, September 13, 2011

B of A Hell Zone

I want to log in so I can make my monthly mortgage payment.

I plug in my ID and password.  I'm taken to my SiteKey screen where I see the picture I've chosen and the name of the picture, also chosen by me, meant to be a visual representation to show I'm in the right place and not being phished or something.

I validate the Sitekey pic and name and hit "enter."

I'm taken to a screen that says I need to create a Sitekey, which is interesting because I just came from my Sitekey page.  There is no way to opt out or go forward or backwards.  The only choice is creating a Sitekey.  So I create a new one.  Again.  I go through the process and select security questions and answers and "enter" through to the end.  I receive a message that B of A is "temporarily unable to process my request."  The only thing is, B of A has been "temporarily unable to process my request" for about six months now.

I went paperless some time ago, so plan B is logging into another bank where I do my bill paying, and where they are able to process my log in request in a matter of seconds with no problem at all and look to see what the amounts where the last time I paid my mortgage bills and just repeat them.  So that's what I do.

Then I try the contact information on B of A's website.  I start with "online website technical support" and call the 800 number.  I tell the person who answers that I have a mortgage account.  He proceeds to ask me a series of questions, takes all the information and tells me at the end that I have a mortgage account.  I was actually aware of that and thought he was too since I started with that tidbit.  He tells me he cannot help with mortgage accounts and must transfer me to "model platform."  I get transferred to a man who responds in Spanish.  I tell him my Spanish is a bit rusty and I would prefer to do my business in English.  He tells me he covers every part of the United States except the Pacific Northwest, including, naturally, Washington, so he must transfer me to someone who handles Washington.  I get transferred to someone who tells me they do not handle mortgage accounts and that I need to be transferred to online banking.  Yes, that would be the online banking I called first.

Now the call has been disconnected and I had such high hopes for Connor (the last person I spoke to before the call disconnected.)

I'm in the Bermuda Triangle of Bank of America.  The twilight zone of corporate America.  Online mortgage hell.

All I want to do is pay my bill.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Smoking Gun [Stuff Steph Gives Me (September 4, 2011) ]

For any and all of you who think it is just me torturing poor sweet Stephie in some kind of one-way "click-it" game...think again.

Skype (with permission)


[9:49:24 PM] Steph: *family guy* Oh no!
[10:05:48 PM] Steph: I think I just found the most annoying video on youtube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYJglSVP4IU&feature=related
[10:06:18 PM] Lee: Wow.  What a great lead in.  I'm SO gonna click now.
[10:06:26 PM] Steph: you better!
[10:06:27 PM] Lee: LOL
[10:06:42 PM] Steph: after 30 secs I had to stop it :D
[10:06:59 PM] Lee: Jesus.  I stopped it at 7.
[10:07:04 PM] Steph: LOL
[10:07:08 PM] Steph: OH NO!
[10:08:03 PM] Lee: I'm totally gonna post that you gave me that link.
[10:08:15 PM] Steph: :D :D DEWIT!
[10:08:20 PM] Lee: LOL!!!

And here's the vid.  Enjoy.




ETA:

Also from Stephie.



And this too.

dilligaf


Leveraged LBD

I loved Sophie's little black dress on "The Boiler Room Job" episode of Leverage.





Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leverage_(TV_series)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Leverage_episodes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gina_Bellman

Sadistic 'Survivor' Producers Put Coach Back In The Game



SURVIVOR: SOUTH PACIFIC 
Special 90-Minute Season Premiere Wednesday, September 14th at 8/7c







Here's hoping for an early oust at tribal council.



p.s.
And to add insult to injury, someone's let this yahoo make a movie.


Links:
http://www.cbs.com/shows/survivor/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor_(TV_series)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor_(U.S._TV_series)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor:_South_Pacific
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Wade_(Survivor_contestant)
http://www.coachbenwade.com/
http://coach.bandcamp.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/oneeightyfilm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJP01UR1DSY
http://www.facebook.com/180film
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1979163/
http://www.180film.com/
http://www.easywaterfilms.com/

Friday, September 2, 2011

Puppetry of the Penis Now in 3D & A Phone App

Yep, that's right. The "Dick Tricks" guys now have a 3D show complete with CGI and a phone app for men who want to master the penis puppetry.





PoP Hamburger

Hamburger

PoP Wristwatch

Cockstars





Their tricks include:
  • Wind Up
  • Atomic Mushroom
  • Wristwatch
  • Snail
  • Three-Wood
  • Parachute
  • Eiffel-Tower
  • Hamburger
  • Hot dog
  • Pelican
  • Windsurfer
  • G-String
  • Brain
  • Weed-Snipper
  • Loch Ness Monster
  • Wedding Ring
  • The Woman
  • Mollusk
  • Baby Bird
  • Flying Squirrel



Links:
http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/
http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/videos/HAMBURGER.mov
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppetry_of_the_Penis
http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/move-over-bacon/content?oid=14187
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tackle_Happy
http://www.perthcomedy.com/general/puppetry_of_penis/index.html
http://gizmodo.com/5828607/android-apps-that-teach-you-the-art-of-penis-puppetry
http://www.chortle.co.uk/shows/edinburgh_fringe_2011/p/19044/puppetry_of_the_penis%3A_3d/review
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/appsblog/2011/aug/08/apps-rush-fbi-cher-lloyd-blackberry

Manimal















Links:
http://www.feastoffun.com/topics/culture-style/2011/07/02/video-creepy-sexy-muscular-bunny-man-working-out/
http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Alex_Kovas
http://www.humanimals.co.uk/
http://www.youtube.com/user/AlexKovas
http://www.interviewmagazine.com/fashion/naomi-campbell/
http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223122514/http://www.oneandother.co.uk/participants/Humanimal
http://videos.arte.tv/fr/videos/humanimal_-3782398.html

Can't Be Unseen

"What has been seen can’t be unseen. Once you see these pictures you may never look at the original the same way again. After all once you see it you can’t unsee it."

 - the secret ingrediant is....

PEOPLE!

 - mind fucked

 - If it does, then where's my Bruce Campbell key?

 - GEEZUS!

 - 5 points.... 5 points... 5 points... TEN POINTS OH
"5 points.... 5 points... 5 points... TEN POINTS OH GOD FIFTY POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!"


p.s.
In some cases the comments under the pics are worth seeing and in some cases unseeing too.


Links:
http://cantbeunseen.com/


See also:
http://clarksonisms.com/
http://antipickupline.com
http://anti-joke.com//
http://iamdisappoint.com/
http://objectiface.com/
http://lolercoasters.com/
http://pointlesssuperpowers.com/
http://morefailat11.com/
http://roulettereactions.com/
http://pointlessinventions.com/
http://diyfail.com/
http://meanwhilein.org/
http://perfectlytimedphotos.com/
http://passedoutphotos.com/
http://motivationalgenerator.com/

And:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jpmoore/thanks-tumblr-the-dark-knight-rises-poster-is-rui
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Once_you've_seen_it,_you_can't_unsee_it
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jdbwe/whats_your_favourite_cant_unsee/

And more.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Changed Man Bikini

Aaaaaaah!  

Changed Man Bikini
http://jezebel.com/5836636/once-you-see-the-changed-man-bikini-swimsuit-you-cannot-unsee-the-changed-man-bikini-swimsuit-[nsfw]?popular=true



a.  Where's the rest of it?
b.  Isn't that uncomfortable?
c.  What happens if he gets aroused?
d.  Why?

This one is called the "Impaled Bikini."


What is happening here?

This one is called "Analmation."


Again, I say...aaaaaaaaah!

I love how the explanation for this next one starts.
"This design will take some explaining..."


Ya think?

This one made me full-on LOL.



I'm not even gonna post a pic of what they call "Anal Challenge 2X."  You're just gonna have to go look for yourself.  It's the bottom link.  Pardon the pun.

Okay, okay.  I'll just show you the, um, "before" picture.  You can click through for the "after."



You're definitely on your own for the "Sheer Force Penis Stretcher" and the "Options Stretcher."

There's one called "Penile Colony."  Okay, I had to chuckle at that.

Sweet Mother of God.  I keep clicking "Next" and there's no end.  They even sell kilts.

Links:
http://www.koalaswim.com/ko-swim-split-master.htm


ETA:




ETA2:



ETA3:

Stephie gave this to me.  Enjoy.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Not-So-Pure Genuis

I love iTunes and my iTouch, but I am not a fan of the Genius function on iTunes.  It never really knows what to recommend to me.


Example:

This is "99 Problems" by Hugo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jeyGl2fdfA

(I'd post the actual video, but Blogger, as I've mentioned, is weirdly inconsistent with Youtube.)

I don't want the recommendations Genius gave me (see pic above).  I want uptempo sexy retro alt bluesy country rock, something with clapping hands, stomping, a banjo, guitar and an undercurrent of bourbon and sin, stuff like...

"Hell's Kitchen" by Matt King
"Ain't No Easy Way" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Shuffle Your Feet" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Barton Hollow" by Barton Hollow
"Ten Million Slaves' by Otis Taylor
"Seven or Eight Days" by Adrian Glynn
"Go It Alone" by Beck
"Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall


I've been told I would have better luck on Pandora.  I admit, it is better.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

No Reservation Soundtrack (Bourdain - Homme)

Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age recently did the soundtrack for the "U.S. Desert" episode of No Reservations.  I want it.  Must...have...more.







Also, this is funny.  Yes.  I have that kind of sense of humor.

"I like your Daddy so much, that when an obnoxious superfan of mine at a magical place called Pappy and Harriet’s got up in Daddy’s face–had your Daddy not gently guided him by the thorax to the welcoming arms of security–I would have broken my beer glass across the man’s skull and then jabbed the jagged remnants into his ****ing neck. That’s the kind of guy I am. I had your Daddy’s back–just like he had mine. You will learn about these things later–possibly in grammar school."


Links:
http://www.explodinginsound.com/2011/08/josh-homme-featured-on-travel-channels.html
http://rockitoutblog.com/2011/08/08/watch-b-roll-footage-of-no-reservations-featuring-music-from-josh-homme/
http://blog.travelchannel.com/anthony-bourdain/read/havana-club%E2%80%A6and-lonely-t-bird/
http://anthonybourdain.tumblr.com/post/8578665891/desert-session-a-letter-to-josh-hommes-daughter
http://blog.travelchannel.com/anthony-bourdain/read/desert-session-a-letter-to-josh-hommes-daughter/
http://www.qotsa.com/news/default.aspx?nid=36183

Loyal Pets

This kind of story is always a gut-punch for bleeding-pet-heart people like Stephie and me.  Please pardon the mixed metaphor.

Dog mourns at casket of fallen Navy SEAL

"Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson lay in a coffin, draped in an American flag, in front of a tearful audience mourning his death in Afghanistan. Soon an old friend appeared, and like a fellow soldier on a battlefield, his loyal dog refused to leave him behind."



Bless his little canine heart.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Cat Grenades

Maryanne posted this on gV.  I love the pic, but I particularly like the Olympic-10-score worthy form of the cat.



Links:
http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/re-fester.2456/page-4#post-111420
http://s602.photobucket.com/albums/tt104/MissLee_photos/Catnip%20for%20Forums/

Webby Awards (15th Annual)

A chocolate keyboard to go with all that spewage.  (Do I need to explain that one?)


And the Muppets.  Although once again you'll have to click the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiMZa8flyYY&ob=av2n

Anyone know why that happens on Blogger?





And Roger Ebert.  I love Roger Ebert.




Say no to Pixel Fashion.  I'm not even gonna post a pic.  It hurts.




Links:
http://tumblr.webbyawards.com/
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2011/08/i_was_born_inside_the_movie_of.html
http://www.thecreatorsproject.com/blog/living-in-a-world-of-pixels

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Speaking of Ridiculist...

Let's revisit this.  Again.  Ya know, to celebrate the upcoming reality show and current proliferation of forum threads.

See here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj0eHtwowlk

I'd put it up as a video, but Blogger's video insert feature has proven consistently inconsistent for me.

Aha!  Maybe this one will work.






She looks like she's been studying Ann-Margret for an impression act.



Here's a Stodden PSA.




Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doug_Hutchison
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/23/doug-hutchison-and-courtney-stodden_n_934183.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/16/courtney-stodden-pamerla-anderson_n_927961.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ann-Margret

Bollywood Robots

No really.


Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enthiran

Friday, August 19, 2011

Stuff Steph Gives Me (August 19, 2011) [Where's WALL-E?]

I love this.

Look!  Maximilian!  V.I.N. CENT!  R2D2!  C3PO!  Da Terminator!

Where's WALL-E?





Hopewell Studios says:
"'Where's WALL-E?' art from Geekings Cards
A new piece of artwork by Richard Sargent, featuring a huge crowd of robots from movies, television and more. Can you find WALL-E among them?"
"Win a signed poster print of Richard's 'Where's WALL-E?' art! How many robots can you identify? Use the guide picture to name as many as you can. The most correct robots will win a poster. Answers to richard@hopewellstudios.com. Closing date for entries 31st August 2011."
Fun stuff on that site.  I also like the Columbo and Jaws cards.

Links:
http://www.hopewellstudios.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=19&Itemid=35
http://www.hopewellstudios.com/images/stories/geekings/whereswalle1450.jpg
http://www.hopewellstudios.com/images/stories/geekings/wall-enumbers1450.jpg

ETA:





ETA:



1.   Laputa Robot                                                                                                    91.  XR
2.  The Robot (B9 from "Lost In Space"                                                             92.  Steve from "Bolts & Blip"
3.   Larry 3000 from "Time Squad"                                                                       93.  Robot from "The Goodies"
4.  Maximilian from "The Black Hole"                                                                 94.  Dalek from "Dr. Who"
5.   John the Robot                                                                                                 95.  Smash potato Martian robot
6.  Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still"                                                    96.  Alpha 5 
7.  Chani from "Devil Girl from Mars"                                                                 97.  Robot Jones
8.  Robot Monster                                                                                                  98.  Robot Chicken’s Humping Robot
9.  robot from Venus from the movie "Target Earth"                                        99.  skiing oven from "Grand Day Out"
10.   Hector from "Saturn 3"                                                                                 100.  Kevin from "Saved By the Bell"
11.  Robot Torg from "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"                         101.  Jenny from My Life as a Teenage Robot
12.   The robot from "The Vanishing Shadow"                                                102.  790 from LEXX
13.  Carl the robot from "Meet The Robinsons"                                              103.  Analyzer (IQ9) from "Star Blazers"
14.   ED-209                                                                                                            104.  Blinky
15.   Mark 1 from "Mother Riley Meets the Vampire"                                    105.  Robot from "Rocky IV"
16.   robot from "Zombies of the Stratosphere."                                              106.  Marvin the Paranoid Android
17.  1998 "Lost in Space" movie robot                                                               107.  AMEE from "Red Planet"
18.  The Terminator                                                                                               108.  Evolver
19.   # 5                                                                                                                    109.  Mr. Robot from the "Mr. Robot" video game
20.   alien invader robot from "The Earth Dies Screaming"                            110.  Jinx from "Space Camp"
21.  an enforcer police android robot from "THX 1138"                                 111.  Green Cross Code Robot
22.  PPA from "Starfleet"                                                                                     112.  CHUM from "The Simpsons"
23.  Elle from "Starcrash"                                                                                    113.  Classic Cylon
24.   Weebo from "Flubber"                                                                                114.  Robot Moron from "Robo Story"
25.   A.P.E.X                                                                                                           115.  Tik-Tok from "Return to Oz."
26.  Brian the Brain from "Space:  1999"                                                            116.   Google Android
27.  Tobor from "Tobor the Great"                                                                     117.  Dick Spanner, PI
28.   Wind-up Robot from "Zathura"                                                                 118.  "fix-its" in "*batteries not included"
29.   a tachikoma from Ghost in the Shell                                                           119.  Marvin the Paranoid Android 
30.  Dot Matrix (Joan Rivers) from "Spaceballs"                                             120.  Rosie from "The Jetsons"
31.  Wheelie from "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"                            121.  Robot from "Heavy Metal"
32.   Wheelie from "Transformers" animated-series                                       122.  Blinky from "Bucky O'Hare"
33.   Jet Jaguar                                                                                                       123.  MAMMA from "The Muppet Show"
34.   Scooter from "Gobots"                                                                                124.  B.E.N. from "Treasure Planet"
35.  Bill & Ted robots from "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey."                       125.  MO from "Space Sentinels"
36.  Bill & Ted robots from "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey."                       126.  Jeremy from "Rentaghost"
37.  Crichton from "Buck Rogers"                                                                     127.  Robotboy
38.  Kryten, also from Red Dwarf                                                                       128.  K-9
39.  Mizzo, robot from "Starchaser:  the Legend of Orin"                               129.  WALL*E
40.  Box from "Logan's Run"                                                                               130.  Serge from "Caprica"
41.  Andy from "Quark"                                                                                       131.  S.P.O.T from "Eliminators"
42.  Robby the Robot from "Forbidden Planet"                                              132.  GIR from "Invader Zim"
43.  ABC Robot from "Judge Dredd"                                                                133.  Preston from "A Close Shave"
44.  QT1 from "The Prophet"                                                                             134.  Newman
45.  battle droid from "Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace"       135.  Nono from "Ulysses 31"
46.  Woody Allen "Sleeper" butler robot                                                         136.  Noo-noo from "Teletubbies"
47.  Maria/Futura robot from "Metropolis"                                                     137.   BB from "Deadly Friend"
48.   C3P0 from "Star Wars"                                                                               138.  Conky from "Pee-wee's Playhouse"
49.   Metal Mickey                                                                                               139.  Sam from "Sesame Street"
50.  Rodney Copperbottom from "Robots"                                                     140.  Muffit II from "Battlestar Galactica"
51.  Infiltration Unit Zeta from "The Zeta Project"                                         141.  Quark from "Dr. Who"
52.  Mr. Thundercleese from "The Brak Show."                                             142.  M.I.C. from "Telebugs"
53.   Plex from "Yo Gabba Gabba!"                                                                    143.  S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A. from "Telebugs"
54.   Sherman from "Millennium"                                                                       144.  Killbot from "Chopping Mall"
55.  Gog                                                                                                                  145.  The Iron Chicken from "The Clangers"
56.  Sparks from "The Shape of Things to Come."                                         146.  Evil Edna from "Willo the Wisp"
57.  new Cylon                                                                                                      147.  V.I.N.CENT from "The Black Hole"
58.  Junky Mecha from "AI"                                                                              148.  Bad Robot
59.  Big Guy (BGY-11)                                                                                         149.  K-9
60.  Cyberman                                                                                                       150.  Henry the Vacuum Desktop Cleaner
61.   Cyberman                                                                                                      151.  Zark from "Battle of the Planets"
62.   patrol robot from "Blake's 7"                                                                      152.  H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot from 'Fantastic Four"
63.  Mr. Butlertron from "Clone High"                                                              153.  Robotman
64.  Sentinel from "The Matrix"                                                                          154.  Sergeant Bash from "Robot Wars"
65.  Hover Robot Knight                                                                                     155.   Tom Servo of MST3K  
66.  Zero from "Earth 2"                                                                                       156.  Twiki
67.  Slomo from "Space Precinct"                                                                      157.  Dr. Theopolis
68.  M.A.R.K.-13 from "Hardware"                                                                    158.  Cube Robot from "Terrahawks"
69.  Robot X-5 from "Atomic Betty"                                                                 159.   Phil from "Heartbeeps."
70.  Calculon from Futurama                                                                              160.  MSE-6-series repair droid
71.  Peace from "Wizards"                                                                                  161.  Scout in a Can from "Spaced Invaders"
72.  Blitz from "C.O.P.S."                                                                                     162.  Tiny from "Little Robots"
73.  Adam Link  ('64)                                                                                            163.  Clank from Ratchet and Clank
74.  Adam Link ('95)                                                                                             164.  Roam 2 from "Space Island One"
75.  Sonny from "I, Robot"                                                                                165.  R2D2 from "Star Wars"
76.  "Bicentennial Man."                                                                                    166.  Ludwig
77.  Bender from "Futurama"                                                                             167.  Sergeant Major Zero of "Terrahawks"
78.  EVE from "WALL-E"                                                                                   168.  T-Bob from M.A.S.K.
79.  The Tin Man from "Wizard of Oz"                                                            169.   Huey, robot from "Silent Running"
80.   Nomad from "Star Trek"                                                                            170.   Dewy, robot from "Silent Running"
81.   Droid from "Star Command"                                                                     171.  Louie, robot from "Silent Running"
82.   Robot Pilot from "Space Patrol"                                                               172.  Skutter from Red Dwarf
83.  Robert the Robot from "Fireball XL5"                                                      173.  Zax from "Benji, Zax & the Alien Prince"
84.  Atlas from Portal                                                                                          174.  Robot Jerry
85.  SID from "Galloping Galaxies"                                                                  175.  Robot Tom
86.  Kamelion from "Dr. Who"                                                                         176.  Goddard from Jimmy Neutron
87.   Bubo, "Clash of the Titans"                                                                     177.  Push Trashcan the Dog
88.  Octus from "Sym-Bionic Titan"                                                                178.  DRD from Farscape
89.  Grounder from "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"                          179.  Rover from "Planet 51"
90.  Haro                                                                                                                180.  M-O from Wall-E        




ETA:


      

ETA:
http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/08/19/wheres-wall-e-huge-robot-print-art/
http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/zomgwtfbbqgtfololcats/63461-how-many-robots-can-you-2.html
http://www.geeky-gadgets.com/enormous-robot-graphic-puzzle-hides-wall-e-23-08-2011/
http://www.forevergeek.com/2011/08/wheres-wall-e/
http://www.ausgamers.com/forums/general/thread.php/3101270
http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/jn65k/wheres_walle/
http://www.fugworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15209
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?p=83183968


ETA: